Sleep paralysis

In this post, I just want to share about my dream which happened last night on 30/10/13. I was pretty tired from work so I slept like 5 to 10 minutes before 9pm.
I woke up at 3 ish to pee.
In the dream. . . I could see clearly my bedroom and my sister with me on the bed. And I felt something/someone crawled over me and felt so heavy. Then after that it is holding me down and I can't move nor speak. I was so scared and screamed out Jesus's name. Initially the word is hard to be heard and out from my mouth but eventually I managed to speak a little bit and all was the same word. Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Then after that I saw something like a white orb with red ring around it disappearing into the electrical box.
After that it turned into a dream where my uncle Hengky was taking me to a place so he could pray for me. Oh dear, I never had this kind of dream before and I do hope it is not really those mentioned evil spirit or demon putting the pressure. I read a few articles and some mentioned it could be real. *yikes*

Jesus! Please help us! Cast away all those evil spirits from our house and lives. We just need you Jesus!
In Jesus' name we pray, Amen!!

Thoughts . . .

Blog left untouched for months and months. Not much exciting happenings lately. Challenges arise every now and then. If time can be reversed, would have pursued Master or even chose a different course. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love pharmacy. It was my passion but this affection becomes a routine. It is true enough to say everything becomes a routine after a while. In addition, pharmacist's salary is not just in Brunei. Made new friends/colleagues at work. Feeling more frustrated and annoyed at the inefficiency of . . .  When can I get a post and get paid? It must be part of a bigger plan God has for me. Jeremiah 29:11. This is what keeps me going. I know God is testing my patience and faith. It is amazing to see how God works. Praise the Lord!  

More than 5 months have passed since my bf came back with a surprise on my birthday in April. All three hands on the clock moving forward non-stop . . . Tick-tock-tick-tock . . . my dearest bf is coming back next Tuesday for 2 weeks. You can surely say I am looking forward to this. 

What kind of person I really am? I think too deep at times regardless of my shallow face. I don't like to voice out my opinions unless with the people I am really close to. I like perfection, efficiency, justice, fairness, success based on real capabilities and not by pulling strings. Sometimes I don't even understand and doubt myself a lot. I change mind very quickly - very fickle minded except for the things I am very sure about. Very indecisive. The person who knows me inside out would be my bf and of course our Almighty Father. I was watching this TW show 女人我最大 which happened to talk Aries ranked 1st at loving themselves, more like their traits. It mentioned we Aries always aim high and hope to achieve highly. In short, we always want the best of the best. It is pretty true. This is a good one but it can be bad too. I always think I don't have the ability and capability to do this and that. I know I have to believe in myself. Being too responsible and desiring perfection can lead to stress. I have to admit even though l feel I haven't achieve enough but I am satisfied with my life. I have a perfect boyfriend, harmonious family, true friends, shelter, food everyday, no body deformity etc. I came across this note on facebook that a cancer patient, let's just generalised to dying patient, only has one wish. We shouldn't be the toy of today's society. You know why I love my boyfriend? Because he loves me for who I really am. He tolerates my impulsiveness, anger, complaints, cold war, and so on. Let's just say he's my neutralizer and comfort. He is always by my side especially during my hard times, letting me know I am not fighting alone. Thanks my long bean. =)

2 more days . . . then I can torture you *evil grin*

Happy Birthday my boyfriend

IT'S 30 JUNE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM! xxx

Complaint and blessing

Sadly enough, I am not as motivated to blog as I used to. I tried to keep my page alive but it is hard without this writing drive and I don't find blogging as enjoyable as before where I was so determined to drop by and transcribe my thoughts into words here. Still remember the times I was active engaging in blogging was back in uni days. I MISS UNI LIFE! I am going to put random photos in between paragraphs which do not directly correlate to the paragraphs' contents.

As days go by, I miss life in NZ more and more, both uni and working life. Guess I have been back in Brunei long enough. The ones that I missed most is human-human interaction, be it my friends over there, fun colleagues or new patients. My point is it doesn't matter whether I know them or not, it is just a different feeling of treatment between NZ and Brunei. I feel so heartwarming over there but pretty cold and antisocial here.

I am not saying I don't love Brunei. I will even go to the extent saying I am proud to be a Bruneian. I am serious! I am absolutely grateful towards our generous king for sponsoring us to study abroad. I know it involves a lot of money here. This is also one of the reasons I am back for good just to repay his kindness. Another reason is of course to help out with my family's finance. See, everything is about money money money. If I have enough money, I would be able to do things that I like, for example, travel whenever I want, buy a good quality upright piano, buy an iphone, decorate my room etc. You see, every time I want to do something, I have to think so much about other factors involved. If I have the money, I would have flown over to OZ to celebrate my bf's birthday. I am so sorry my dear for not able to do so as you know about my financial situation. It is not that I can't fork out 1.5k or get an iphone straight but I have to think about the consequences for doing so. My bf always say to me: save your money for rainy days.  

To be honest, I am very lucky to have my boyfriend whose birthday is tomorrow! I wanna wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I sincerely wish all the best for him in every single thing that he does and most importantly, continue to shower me with love! LOL! Known this guy for 2 years and a bit now and have fallen in love again and again ever since. He is always there for me whenever I am happy or sad. A good example is this morning, I went to see Ms. A about volunteering myself to work in the hospital. Oh, let me tell you something here. I am still unemployed and I find it very pathetic to volunteer myself as if I am so desperate to work. Initially I thought to do attachment just to gain a bit of experience or maybe they can speed up the process of me getting an official post but now I regret and feel stupid/silly as I should enjoy my holiday first. You know why? I thought I would be volunteering just for a couple of weeks but after hearing what Ms. A said the establishment warrant is very unpredictable i.e. some get job straightaway and some have to wait even for a year. My thought was OH NO! I don't want to work for free for a year! That's insane. Another point is she also mentioned about gathering scholarship pharmacy students' information so they can apply for this warrant when they are doing their pre-registration aka internship and when they come back, a job is there for them or don't have to wait that long. I was like wth? If you all already knew this so called warrant take such a long time to apply for, why no action was taken before? And another thing is when I walked into the hospital, I felt so unfamiliar and so unhappy. This sadness empowered when I saw the numerous number of people queuing waiting for their prescription meds. I cannot imagine this ridiculously crazy long queue and complaints from patients when BRUHIMS starts. Then it took me a while to locate the inpatient pharmacy as it is situated at the corner of the building, quite secluded. When I was in there, I felt coldness and asked myself, where's the warmth human-human interaction? Everyone seems like a robot. Honestly, I have a feeling I will not enjoy this working environment. (I did a 2 weeks attachment about 3.5 years ago and frankly speaking, that was the worst of my working life let it be a short placement or internship). This also makes me want to go back to study or I should just hope they transfer me to my hometown. I know I am a kampong girl and simple life suited me more.Very strange and funny indeed this feeling of sadness (I have no idea why I feel sad. Maybe hormones? Or plainly because I have this 6th sense about my future working life) made me burst into tears when I talked to my boyfriend this afternoon. I just felt very stressed out which I shouldn't be as I haven't even started yet. Oh fyi, I will be starting this coming Tuesday without pay. I should have proposed to work 2days/week instead of 3days/week.

Back to my boyfriend now. He told me he felt the same which is called adjusting to new environment. Honestly, I have never felt this before. Not even when I was at Kensington Pharmacy or doing my placement in NZ pharmacies and hospital. I am just afraid if I am unhappy, it is not good for my well-being and leads to depression. *touchwood* Putting all these feelings of working aside, I am the most blessed person in this whole wide world to receive Keith Tan Swait Zin as my life present. (Hope this is for life though). Of course, I am glad to be born to my parents and a pair of siblings who always are there to have fun with me. I can be very childish and they play along with me. HAHA! You know why I cherish my boyfriend so much? Simply because he is made for me. He knows me very well inside out. I am not the kind of girl who would show her real inner feelings towards other people even close friends but I can tell him everything. He is also my best friend slash boyfriend. I cry easily that's why I don't talk about my bottom-of-my-heart-personal-matter to others especially those bitter moments. God is so awesome to let us meet at the perfect time. It is not easy to cross paths considering he was in OZ and I was in NZ when we got to know each other and not to mention, we were not recommended by mutual friends but he just randomly added and fb msged me. From then on, things started to follow. I am delighted that he added me because if not, I would have missed a golden opportunity to know this amazing guy. I learned so much from him. Although we are similar in most ways, we are different in some ways. His strengths complemented my weaknesses. Through this, I slowly am learning to convert my weakness into strength. The most that I like about him is him being so caring and understanding. I really can feel his love for me which is hard for me to describe this in words. I just feel this guy can give me happiness as I already feel this in reality right now. Tell you a little secret here. Initially, I was the stabiliser of this relationship but now it is the other way round. He never doubt this relationship after a few months together and I thank him for giving me this reassurance. Whatever I do now, I will always think of him and this is not a burden but a feeling of happiness, warmth and most importantly, acceptance. My dear, rest assured I will never take you for granted because once this is done, our relationship become meaningless. I hope we continue to shower each other with unconditional passionate love and loving tender care till the end.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear! Enjoy every moments in Brissy and GC! Love you big time! p/s: please check your mailbox when you return to Rocky. xxx 

 You are the man whom I pledge to spend the rest of my life with. Happy Birthday baby. 

Dr Tumi is back!

Dr. Tumi was back for a short break last week. She only had a few days in Brunei because the rest of her annual leave was spent overseas. Luckily, I managed to catch up with her and her family over lunch at a Chinese restaurant at Orchid Garden Hotel.If she had stayed longer in home country, I'd definitely demand a live pole dance from her. :D 
Perhaps next time when she comes back again then.

-The End-

Lunch Buffet at Empire

In previous post, I mentioned about free vouchers for Empire members right? Well, one of them is lunch buffet for 2 pax. We (Aunt Merlin, Wen and myself) used this 2 days after our high tea buffet at the atrium. I have heard a lot of comments about not-so-nice food at Empire. This is why I did not expect it to be super nice but at least nice to my tongue. To my surprise, I find the food not as bad as I thought. Maybe I was too hungry at that time or there's improvement in the quality of the food served or my low expectation beforehand. Personally, I prefer Radisson Hotel's because of its price and quality of food.

Sister happily getting her food

 The Salad section

 Appetizers

 

This is basically the main. The only one I din get was mussels. 

 My favourite dessert section. The two best desserts would be its "buburcaca" and apple crumble

-The End-

Empire Buffet High Tea

In order to enjoy the privileges brought by Empire Hotel & Country Club Brunei the most cost effective way is by becoming member. The annual fee for this is BND$298. I am not a member of course due to its high cost and it will be a waste since I don't go there often for meals or use its facilities frequently.

My youngest auntie, who is a member, brought us to high tea buffet at Lobby Lounge last Saturday. On weekdays, traditional English High Tea was served instead. Believe it or not, we sat there from the start (3pm) till the end (6pm). This is a good place for "tai-tai" to catch up with their social network news. LOL! 

   Since auntie is a member, we only paid $26.40 for two persons (2 pax free cos' of her membership). It is usually cost $30 and 10% service charge for 2 but I guess being a member means discount. 

 

Sis and bro With my auntie

 

Scones at bottom tier

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-The End-